耶魯歐迅實業

有時候很想多說幾句咖啡事，可是又覺得若將咖啡單純當做是一種飲料，只要能享受都是好事，不過呢，之前拜讀到很有趣的部落客文章，提到如何辨別咖啡店好壞的基本方法，看完之後心有戚戚焉，當然，好喝是看個人，難喝則是四海皆準，所以我就節錄該文章中有關於怎樣是地雷咖啡店的特徵翻譯出來，跟大家分享嚕～～

原文連結：http://coffeegeek.com/opinions/coffeequest/07-27-2012



NOT: If you see these things, run away, and don't look back!
如果你看到這些事情在咖啡店裡發生，那要頭也不回地烙跑！

* Dirty bathrooms: Any place where food is served the status of the bathrooms will give you a good idea of how the place is run.
* 骯髒的洗手間：任何一個提供食物的地方，洗手間的整潔與否都會讓你理解到這個地方經營地如何。

* Crusty milk on the steam wand: Yeah, everyone wants diarrhea after drinking their latte, right?
* 蒸汽棒上的牛奶殘渣：對，每個人都想在喝完拿鐵之後來個腹瀉，是吧？

* Cutesy names for drinks: I've never had good coffee at a tourist trap.
* 有著諂媚名字的飲料：我從來沒有在一個觀光場所的咖啡店喝過好咖啡。

* Wobbly tables: OK, this isn't a deal breaker, but more of a pet peeve of mine. Do you know how it feels when you set your delicious coffee down, then accidentally bump the wobbly table which in turn spills half of the cup?! It's like going for a nice walk and then someone tripping you with a cactus. Not cool.
* 晃動的桌子：好吧，這不是什麼必要條件，但比較像是我個人的喜好。你知道當你準備好要享用美味的咖啡時，桌子來個突發的晃動，使得咖啡有半杯潑灑了出來，那是怎樣的感覺嗎？那就像是去悠哉散步時然後被某人推去撞仙人掌一樣，不優。

* Franchises: I've never had good coffee from a franchise. This is not to be confused with regional coffee chains. I have had nice coffee from one or two of them.
* 特許經營的咖啡店(在教堂中或是在特別的景點中)：我從來沒在這種咖啡店喝過好咖啡。可別跟區域性的連鎖咖啡店搞混了，我曾在其中一兩個連鎖咖啡品牌喝過好咖啡。

* Your "barista" is only wearing underwear: Um, yeah, I'm thinking the focus in that shop isn't on quality coffee.
* 吧台裡的咖啡師只穿著內衣：恩，對，我想店裡的焦點不是著重於優質的咖啡。

* There is no coffee grinder present in the entire shop: This means they are only using pre-ground coffee for everything! These places should be shut down and sent down the syphon of shame.
* 整間店裡都沒有擺著磨豆機：這表示他們只用咖啡粉泡咖啡！這種店應該而被停業並被丟到以羞恥為名的賽風下壺受火刑。

* They mistakenly make a cappuccino instead of a latte: When you mention this they take a knife, scrape the foam off of the top, and then hand it back to you. Really, this happened. I’m calling you out Chattanooga Tennessee.
* 他們錯誤地將拿鐵做成卡布奇諾：當你提起時，他們拿起刀子將上頭的奶泡刮去之後，把飲料還給你。沒錯，這真的發生過，我就是在講Chattanooga Tennessee。

* The portafilter for the espresso machine sits on the drip tray all day: It hasn't been sitting in the brewgroup preheating. Thus, it won't be up to temperature before they pull your shot.
* 濃縮咖啡機的濾器整天都被丟在滴水盤：這表示濾器從未被裝在手把上預熱，因此，在給你沖泡濃縮咖啡之前，濾器不會達到應該有的溫度。

* They overpull the espresso shot, it overflows in the shot glass, so they pour the extra crema off the top: Oh, the horror!
* 他們過度萃取濃縮咖啡，咖啡液流出萃取玻璃杯，所以頂層的咖啡精華(crema)都流失了：喔！最遭的情況！

* Inside the shop you see the word "eXpresso."
* 在店裡你看到以下的單字：eXpresso。

* They use a superautomatic espresso machine: I've never had good coffee from a superauto. No cafe that is serious about quality would ever touch one with a 10 yard stick.
* 他們使用全自動濃縮咖啡機：我從來沒有喝過全自動濃縮咖啡機泡的好咖啡。講求品質的咖啡店，就算拿著九公尺長的棍子碰一下全自動咖啡機也不肯。

* They re-steam their milk: Insert Mr.YUCK face here.
* 他們再次加熱用過的牛奶：請在這裡插入一個噁心的表情。

* They don't grind the coffee immediately before each shot, pourover, or drip.
* 無論是製作濃縮、手沖或濾泡咖啡，他們沒有在製作前才磨咖啡豆。

* They won't tell you who their coffee roaster is: Really?! You should be proud of this fact, not hide it.
* 他們不肯告訴你誰是他們咖啡豆的烘焙師：真的嗎？店家應該對於烘焙師感到驕傲，而不是扭扭捏捏地隱藏。

* The coffee of the day is Hazelnut Almond Christmas Happy Spice Girl Pink Eye.
* 本日咖啡稱作：榛杏樂聖誕粉眼辣妹。

* You hear the milk's "screech of death": which, unfortunately, is heard in 96% of coffee shops. This means burned milk.
* 你聽見牛奶"死亡之叫聲"：很不幸地，96%的咖啡店都聽得到。這表示牛奶燒過頭了。

* The in-house coffee roaster dude is spraying the roasted beans with water so that they cool faster.
* 店內的咖啡烘焙師對著咖啡豆噴水霧，讓咖啡豆快點冷卻。 (譯註：其實這種手法是有的，不過掌握起來非常困難，如果真的在一般的咖啡店看到的話，我想多半還是在亂搞......)



* The "baristas" spend more time talking to each other on their drive-through headsets than the person standing in front of them at the counter.
* 吧台的咖啡師父寧可花時間用身上的無線麥克風互相閒聊，也不願多花時間跟站在櫃檯前的顧客聊聊。

* Flies: There should not be a plague of flies in a coffee shop. This is unacceptable. Besides, flypaper is cheaper than gas these days.
* 蒼蠅：咖啡店不該有蒼蠅，這是不被允許的。而且，現在黏蠅紙可是比汽油要便宜。

* Trash is overflowing: I’m not making this stuff up.
* 到處都是垃圾：我可沒有騙人，真的有這種店。

* Drinks left sitting around the cafe for hours: Leaves you to wonder what else has been sitting around for hours.
* 店裡頭到處都是幾小時前被喝過放在那的飲料：讓你不禁懷疑還有什麼也是被放在外面好幾個小時。

* Excessive use of whipped cream.
* 過度使用發泡鮮奶油。

* They sell blended Kona coffee: The people who blend Kona also deserve to go down the syphon of shame, and with extra hot water!
* 他們販賣綜合可娜咖啡：把可娜拿去做綜合豆的人，也該被送去以羞恥為名的賽風下壺受火刑，而且還要額外添加滾燙的熱水！